Hey you! Yup, you, the newly married or newly engaged couple. I've got a little secret I'm going to let you in on about successful marriages. You see, there's a top secret superpower that much of today's world doesn't know about. Oh they think they know, but most of them just don't get it.
Top-secret superpower of a happy Marriage: LOVE
I know what you're saying. We know what love is-we see it in the movies all the time. Love is when you feel so passionately toward another person that you can't resist attacking their mouth in hungry, soul-aching (and often slobbery) kisses.
But guess what? You're wrong. Don't feel bad, it's society's fault (we might add some of the blame to Satan's shoulders as well). That isn't love, it's lust. I know it starts with the same letter and all, but it just isn't the same thing.
You see, Lust is Satan's counterfeit for Love. To define the differences as simply as I can, Lust is Selfish, but Love is Selfless.
Lust is concerned with me and I. It is a soul-aching need that we satisfy regardless of the needs of the other person. It is selfishly possessive of others, but loyal to none. Lust is an action word, but It doesn't focus on giving and lifting others up, but rather on taking and lifting our own self.
Love, on the other hand is concerned with service and caring for the other person. It is loyal and trustworthy. Love, too, is an action word. Because we love we act and do things for others. We care about their needs, feelings and cares and seek to ease, uplift and honor them.
Jesus taught that the greatest two commandments are based on Love: Love God, and love your neighbor. Is it any wonder that Satan would try to replace love with his counterfeit?
Love is huge and can fill volumes of books and seminars and study, but it can be brought down to two focuses for strengthening your marriage. Interestingly they come from Jesus' two great commandments:
1) Love God with your whole soul
If we love God, we serve Him. We honor Him by our thoughts and deeds. We strive to do all He has asked of us, including keeping the commandments and magnifying our callings. We talk with Him often and cherish communication with Him. We don't let anything take priority in our lives, money, cars, sports, careers-for these become our idols. We strive to become a better person. We go to His House as often as we can and strive to align our heart and will with His.
2) Love your spouse as yourself
If we love our spouse, we serve them. We honor them by our thoughts and deeds. We strive to make their life as easy and joyful as possible. We talk with them often and cherish communication with them. We don't let anything but God take higher priority than them in our lives: money, cars, sports, careers-for these become our idols. We strive to become a better person-not because they nag us, but because we love them and want to offer to them our best self. We're less interested in being "right" and more focused on being kind. We go home and on dates as often as we can and strive to align our heart and will with theirs.
In truth, when God joined Adam and Eve together, he called them "Helpmeets". For each couple, that term literally means we will help our spouse "meet" (or come unto) God. That is your role, and it can only be accomplished as you, yourself, strives to come unto God. We're like an equalateral triangle, with husband and wife at bottom corners and God at the top. If one wishes to come closer to God, then you have to come closer to your spouse too.
So try the top-secret superpower today! It really is as simple as love.
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